Fare Thee Well

My life is a sham. A sham in which I fool the people I associate with into associating with someone who is not really me. A sham in which I fool myself into being someone I'm not, to the extent that I don't even know which side of me is real anymore. On my behalf, I don't do this consciously; but at the end of the day I can't deny that that is exactly what I'm doing. I use language that changes with the person or group I'm conversing with; I lie about or hide my past (the one I care about) in order to make it seem more in agreement with the current state of affairs; analyse things no one really cares about and write stuff nobody has read to tell people that I have an identity that, I guess, is not really me. I read and get inspired by literary and philosophical greats in a world where I believe strictly in their ideologies that I know I don't even loosely adhere to. I steal words and expressions from people I am close to and use them on other people to get alternately even closer to or to further distance myself from them.

It is true that in the recent past, I HAVE actually developed something akin to an identity, but it is not something I'm proud of, not something I would like to have called ME. I find myself increasingly reverting to my old existence, and the best thing I can do is come out in the open with it and then hide in my own personal coccoon, where I may work on annihilating both sides of the coin that I believe my life to be.

Now that I have told you all this, I'll never be able to face you.
Ladies & Gentlemen of the world, I now declare myself, to 'borrow' a friend's expression:
SOCIALLY DECEASED

Comments

Anonymous said…
hmmmmm....
what is this????
June 10, 2008 at 5:09 PM
Nikita said…
dunno how n why... but i actually get what u r tryin to say n believe to some extent..

but the last bit.. oh go to hell!!
we're not lettin u be "SOCAILLY DECEASED" or watevr..

:)


P.S. this comment applies if the post is actually a serious one n not some kinda joke
June 11, 2008 at 9:03 AM
JD said…
You shamless funnyboy :|

Or should I say "Socially" "Deceased"... Oh cmon, you know how to say that :D

And inspite of all these in-jokes and interpretations of your philosophy, mister, you STILL think you are what you claim to be? :)


PS - My word verification was "iyorlbli" for this comment :O :O
June 11, 2008 at 5:28 PM
PD said…
scary!!!
if u really mean every word written!!

"socially deceased"...as everyone has already mentioned...is just lame..layhehehemm!! :|

give it a second thought :)
June 15, 2008 at 2:51 AM
Abha said…
Awesome! Loved the post! Seriously!
June 23, 2008 at 11:08 PM
Unknown said…
Prashant, my boy...
few ppl can understand wat u mean...
iam overwhelmed all i can quote is a U2 song(OH!not agaaaaaaain!!)as im not talented or mayb brave enuf to express my thoughts so beautifully u have into words....
I'm 'round the corner from anything that's real
I'm across the road from hope
I'm under a bridge in a rip tide
That's taken everything I call my own

One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
One step closer to knowing
Knowing, knowing
July 9, 2008 at 10:53 AM
Sagar Premkumar said…
did he just ...quote a U2 song??
July 19, 2008 at 2:57 PM
Anonymous said…
okay i know i am a bit too late for a comment on thia but u havent blogged recently either so i guess its okay.
as for the post all i can say is what the hell is goin on in ur head dude??as chach says the first part is understandable but "cant face you,socially deceased."if i didnt know u better i wud ask u 2 c a doctor...
July 22, 2008 at 6:05 PM
lakshmy said…
Though completely irrelevant, being socially deceased is fun. :D
is cheap too.
which isn't the point, but still.
July 25, 2008 at 8:22 PM
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